You’re going on a second date. At this point, you know how you’re feeling — but what about him? What is a second date from a guy’s perspective? So today, to help prep you, we’re tackling the topic of second date expectations.
What Does a Second Date Mean to a Guy? 9 Things To Know
Every person is different. As they say – one woman’s Victoria Secret catalog in another man’s Playboy. Accordingly, it’s impossible to create a hard-and-fast list of what to expect on a second date with a guy. But we’d never leave you hanging, woman! So, we surveyed some guys, pooled past experiences, consulted a few experts, and came up with some generalities about second date expectations and what the average guy may be thinking when on one. We also threw in a few broad points about the date itself. So, without further ado, let’s dive in and get you prepped for outing numero dos!
1. He’s Relieved The First Date Went Well
Sometimes, it’s best to focus on simple facts. And in the case of a second date, the overarching truth is that the first date went well — a positive point! For many guys, this simple thing is foremost in their minds. They’re not looking ahead nor behind. Instead, they’re simply glad they made a good enough impression to warrant another outing. So stay loose and go with the flow; enjoy the butterflies of early attraction; it’s a good foundation from which to launch a second date. Second Date Tip: Remind yourself that the first date went well, and use that as a confidence booster to fill your self-esteem tank.
2. He’s Probably Attracted to You
If he’s into a second date — whether he asks or you do — there’s a 98% chance he’s attracted to you. After all, most people don’t date folks with whom they only feel a platonic connection. With that in mind, feel free to dial it up a notch! If you look fantastic, it could help push things in a positive direction. Second Date Tip: Amping up your aesthetics a notch for a night is fun. However, take care to always look like yourself. Don’t go overboard! Enhance your best features, don’t try to transform into something completely different.
3. He Wants To Get to Know You Better
A second date means he’s interested in getting to know you better. If you feel the same way, super! Therefore, being yourself on the second date is of paramount importance. By the third date, expectations about intimacy begin to arise — so the second date is often an intense “getting to know you” session. Second Date Tip: Be prepared to open up a bit more than the first date. Please don’t read us wrong: we’re not suggesting you reveal your deepest-held secrets and vulnerabilities. However, at this point, lower the shield enough to determine if this guy can handle the real you.
4. He May Bring Up Intimacy Questions
For those okay with pre-marital intimacy, the second date may determine whether you have sex with this person on the traditionally sensual third date. As such, it’s fair to bring up related questions. For starters, what is the other person’s stance on intimacy? What about a general overview of their sexual partnership preferences? These are all fair-game topics. Second Date Tip: Do you want to be stuck in a relationship with someone who holds completely different views about sex? If not, don’t be shy. Now’s the time to talk about intimacy values. It’s fine if you want to wait, but the second date is an excellent time to make that clear.
5. He’ll Ask about Date Location Ideas
Doing something a bit different on a second date is often a good idea. Stepping a smidge outside of your comfort zone can be exhilarating and add a little oomph to the outing. But again, don’t go overboard. If you’re deathly afraid of heights, maybe skydiving isn’t ideal. But taking a dance or cooking class may be a lot of fun and out of the ordinary. Second Date Tip: If he suggests something run of the mill, consider offering an alternative off the well-tread path. Mixing things up on the second date helps people open up conversationally.
6. He Could Ask The Dating Question
By the second date, many guys are curious if you’re seeing other people. Be honest. Even if you’re not seeing someone else but are open to it, say that. Remember, at this point, you’re both trying to gauge if there’s something to explore between you two. Concealing information doesn’t serve that end. Second Date Tip: If you’re really into the guy, and he asks if you’re dating anyone else, say something like, “Not currently; I’m enjoying this for the moment.” It lets him know you’re interested without coming across as too anxious.
7. He May Be Nervous
The second date can feel like a pressure cooker for both you and him. Though difficult, try to shake off the nerves. If it’s meant to be, it will be. Also, figure out how you feel about him instead of solely focusing on what he thinks of you. Second Date Tip: If you notice that he’s nervous, admit you are too. It can deflate the tension and lead to a more authentic experience.
8. He’ll Test The Lust Barometer
Skip to the next section if you’re on the more wholesome side of the sexual spectrum. Everyone else, think of the second date as a good lust barometer. How badly do you two want each other, physically? You can usually tell on the second date. And yes, he’s likely assessing the same thing. Second Date Tip: Don’t be afraid to be a little more touchy-feely on the second date.
9. He May Still Be Testing The Water
Ultimately, a second date is still early days. So enjoy it! Though it may sound contradictory, keep it light while also opening up. There’s still lots of wonder and excitement surrounding the potential partnership. Revel in that energy. Second Date Tip: Try not to go armed with expectations. Enjoy the present. 159 Romantic Things To Do With the One You Love 21 Examples Of Healthy Boundaries In Relationships Does He Love Me? 23 Clear Signs He Does
How Do You Know If a Guy Likes You After the Second Date?
There are a few ways to gauge how a guy feels about you after the second date.
How Many Dates Does It Take for a Guy to Like You?
Surefire dating formulas would be excellent, but life doesn’t work that way, and it’s impossible to predict how many dates it will take for a guy to like you. I knew a guy in college who instantly fell in love with his now-wife at first sight. Conversely, I’ve heard of couples who hated each other for years before falling in love. However, as a general rule of thumb, many experts say it takes about ten dates to develop strong feelings for another person.
What Should Happen On A Second Date?
Second date expectations vary. The particulars will largely depend on your location, interests, and even age. Generally speaking, however, by the end of a second date, many men want to know:
Your family situationYour current dating statusLife and career goalsIf the first date was a fluke or if the chemistry is realHow you feel about intimacy, generally speaking
Many women may also wonder about kissing on the second date. Is it OK to do so? In our opinion, yes, it is. However, everyone is different. Ultimately, your inner moral compass should serve as a guide. When deciding whether to kiss on an early date, consider:
How you feel about the other personYour religious beliefsYour spiritual beliefsIf you enjoy kissingThe other person’s breath — as well as yours
Second dates are exciting. You can go in knowing that the other person is interested in getting to know you better, which erodes some of the nerves.
